The Most Likely Couple
by Himitsu-Star
Summary: RuHana. Yaoi. Multi-chaptered-to-be. An unexpected controversy erupts as Shohoku celebrates Tanabata...
1. Prologue: The Competition

© 2004 Copyright Himitsu Star

Disclaimer: _Fan_fic. By a fan. For fans. Slam Dunk created by great mangaka Takehiko Inoue. This work not at all associated with Takehiko-sama. This work not associated with anime version of Slam Dunk. This piece of fanfiction   work belongs solely to Himitsu Star (see Berne Convention and other copyright laws and international treaties).

**Warning: This is a yaoi fanfic, which depicts romance and love between males. If you do not approve of homosexuality or bisexuality in any shape, size or form, please desist from reading this tale. Thank you.**

Author's Notes: Minna-san, this is my first Slam Dunk work. It is, very distinctly, **RuHana**, and no Sendohs will be hurt during production. Likely, but unconfirmed pairings that will pop up during the course of this fic include **Mitko**, **SenKosh** and **AyaMit**. This prologue is filled with OCs, however, for good reason, as they are required to lay the groundwork for the rest of the story. I hope everyone will enjoy this! J

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**_Title: Most Likely Couple _**

**_Rating: PG-13_**

**_Prologue: The Competition_**__

Shohoku High was holding its annual Tanabata celebration. As the town celebrations would be held much later, at night, it meant that the high school had to put aside lessons for the day in order to hold their celebrations successfully.  The student council, naturally, was overjoyed. They had been at somewhat loose ends, following Valentine's Day, White Day, April Fool's Day, Support-Shohoku-Basketball-Team-Week...and then nothing. _Nothing_. They had been positively bored to death. Then Tanabata had come along, a true god-send, something the council could _really_ sink its teeth into. And this year, the Tanabata Festival at Shohoku High was going to be bigger and better than ever, so swore the student council president, Nitta Takeshi.

Takeshi, student council president and eager beaver, was in his element. Already, he had managed to get the school board's approval for the twenty or so programmes that would be part of the Festival. There was going to be a haiku competition, an exhibition three-on-three basketball match by the Shohoku team, a Kabuki-style version of the Tanabata legend, and a modern version (shamelessly inspired by the American film, _Grease_, right down to the tacky dance steps). There was even going to be a kendo competition with a twist, where the participants would dedicate their battles to their lady-loves. It was all going to be very exciting, and as Takeshi leaned back in his swivel chair at the head of the table in the council room, he was one big, affable beam from head to toe.

Watanabe Naohito, vice-president of the council, cleared his throat. He indicated the three large, black garbage bags sitting next to the ancient file cabinet behind the president.  "We received a record number of nominations for the Most Likely Couple Competition. Several of them were...invalid...because the nominators left no name...or because one person was just trying to get the highest number of nominations for a particular couple by nominating them over and over again, quite against the rules..." 

The Most Likely Couple idea had been a brainstorm of one of the girls on the student council, one Fukada Kyoko, who was lucky enough to share the same name as the popular Japanese actress, and quite as fortunate in the looks and charm department. She had argued fervently for it, pointing out that Valentine's Day celebrations always had a Best Couple competition, so why not one for Tanabata? Of course, since it was about star-crossed lovers and couldn't ape Valentine's Day—

_"We should put couples together! Get people to nominate and vote who should be the Most Likely Couple, and we'll reward them with...with a dinner for two at an expensive place in __Tokyo__! Maybe they'll _really_ get together! Sooooooo romantic!!!"_

Well, Kyoko hadn't been voted in for her brains. She was voluptuous. With big, bambi eyes. Her butt had a seductive way of bobbing when she wiggled her way through the school hallways, her bust jigging rhythmically in her tight school uniform. She was also undoubtedly the best judoka in the school. 

Naohito himself was looking somewhat uneasy as he shifted his glasses repeatedly up and down his nose. Already there were two noticeable red dents at the side of his nose. 

Takeshi tilted his head, a faint expression of surprise crossing his face. "Ne, what is it, Naohito?" He straightened in his seat, leaning forward, sharp eyes fixed on his right-hand man. 

Naohito began reading almost glumly from the paper in front of him.

"Here are the names of the top ten Couples nominated: Osaka Hiiro and Matsuda Ikue..."

Takeshi nodded to himself, smiling. The two were in the school drama society; they would be playing the leads opposite each other in the enactment of the Tanabata legend. They were close friends in real life and had played opposite each other since their freshman year, but they had never dated each other, and it was popular rumour every week that they were together...though the rumour died every week and was reborn the next week. 

"...Ayako and Miyagi Ryota..."

Right. Again, Takeshi nodded. Ayako was the manager of the basketball team, a feisty, pretty, determined girl, who was always armed with a fan, the tool with which she beat her disobedient basketball players into meek submission. Miyagi was on the Shohoku basketball team, and he had been pursuing Ayako for as long as anyone could remember. 

"...Fukada Kyoko and...and..."

Takeshi looked up. Watanabe Naohito had gone scarlet as he stared at the paper, which shook in his hands.

"And Watanabe Naohito," purred Fukada Kyoko comfortably from the seat she had managed to snatch, right next to the tomato-red vice-president. She smiled adoringly up at the flustered vice-president. "I _do_ like you, you know, and I've only said so every day since I first saw you." She shook her head. "But you're too shy, Naohito-_kun_." 

Takeshi rolled his eyes. "Get on with it, and take her out for dinner tonight, Naohito," he said crossly. "Really, it's about time you two got together—"

"_Takeshi_—" Flushed with embarrassment, Naohito stared accusingly at his best friend, who shrugged with a nonchalant grin. 

"Here." Takeshi impatiently snatched the paper from Naohito. He glanced through the names of the pairs, nodding his head and making suitable noises. "Mm-hmmm. Uh-huh. Yare, yare. _Hmmmm_. Hn." So far, so good. One interesting pair as well...His eyes strayed to the last pair on the list. "_NANI YO?!_"

In Naohito's neat handwriting at the bottom of the page:

_Rukawa__ Kaede and Sakuragi Hanamichi._

Takeshi leapt to his feet. "Impossible! They—they're—they aren't a couple!"

Kyoko smiled up at him, fluttering long lashes. "No...they'd make a lovely couple. _Most Likely Couple_..."

"But they're _male!!!_" wailed Takeshi, sounding uncharacteristically whiny. "And do you know what those two will do to us if they find out they're on the list?! They _hate_ each others guts! The school board is going to _kill_ us! They're _male_!!!" 

Kyoko buffed her nails and observed, "Well, you didn't seem quite so agitated about the all-girl pair there—me and Akagi Haruko." She made a disgusted face. "As if I would ever go for her!!!"

"But that's different," protested the treasurer of the council, one Hoshikawa Syuusuke.  "You're two girls, and both of you together would be _hot_! I can just see it now..." He leered at Kyoko, and retreated hastily as Watanabe Naohito clenched a fist and shot him a murderous look. 

Kyoko, however, was not about to give up this easily. "_I_ find two guys making out _very_ hot," she declared, casting an undeniably sultry glance around the table. "_Arousing_, in fact." She gave a sensual little wriggle that made all the boys in the room squirm in their seats. "Positively..._sexaaaaaayy__._" Some of the boys in the room gulped visibly, changing colour. "Takeshi...if you're going to strike the last pair out, then you ought to strike out that all-girl pair, for fairness' sake, you know." 

Takeshi slammed his fist down. "Be that as it may, this must not be allowed. It is _wrong_. It is insupportable. They are two _males_!!! We cannot allow this! Naohito—replace them with the next pair who had the highest number of nominations!"

There was a chorus of agreement in the room. Next to the vice-president, Fukada Kyoko gave a single, careless shrug of her slender shoulders—she knew when she was beaten. But behind her nonchalant smile, she gritted her teeth and plotted vengeance. There was a reason, after all, why Rukawa Kaede and Sakuragi Hanamichi had been voted in...


	2. Part 1: Mangaka, Mangaka, Draw Me Some M...

© March 2004 Copyright Himitsu Star

Disclaimer: _Fan_fic. By a fan. For fans. Slam Dunk created by great mangaka Takehiko Inoue. This work not at all associated with Takehiko-sama. This work not associated with anime version of Slam Dunk. This piece of fanfiction work belongs solely to Himitsu Star (see Berne Convention and other copyright laws and international treaties).

**Warning: This is a yaoi fanfic, which depicts romance and love between males. If you do not approve of homosexuality or bisexuality in any shape, size or form, please desist from reading this tale. Thank you.******

Himitsu_Star's Notes: *redder than Hanamichi's hair* Wow. I'm truly bowled over by the reviews for the story so far. ^^I wish I had time to thank everyone personally, but until it's late April, I haven't got much time to myself...and oh, yeah, this story is going to stretch there probably because I will be out of commission from next week to late April...mid-terms and end-semester exams for college are due where I am. _ 

Just to answer the questions generically, Kyoko isn't a major character really... lots of other folk are involved, as you will see in part 2 (we're at part 1 only). And the reason will probably surface later, but it's no biggie. =) This story is just an idea I had...there are so many ways RuHana could have gotten together...and one of them is about to unfold!!!    

**P.S. This is really PG-13. _Really_. For language and certain other descriptions.** I was inspired by this yaoi mangaka called Youka Nitta. 

**_Title: Most Likely Couple _**

**_Rating: PG-13_**

**_Part 1: Mangaka, Mangaka, Draw Me Some Manga…_**

"OH-RAY-WAAAAA, TE-ENSAH-YEE~~~"

Mitoi Youhei winced automatically as the off-key singing pierced through the air. He managed a slightly unsteady grin as a steady circle of students opened hastily around the source of the singing. He himself was safely ensconced several metres away on the pretext of getting a drink from the water-cooler. Old words, brand new tune. Lately Hanamichi had been changing his 'Tensai Song' just a little, so whichever happened to be the popular ditty of the moment was invariable adopted as the Tensai Tune of the Day/Week/Month. This time, Hanamichi had chosen the jingle from a washing detergent advertisement that had been playing with infuriating frequency on television. Youhei much preferred his friend's previous Melody of The Moment, a Western tune which he had disliked, but which was ten thousand and one times better than this bloody aggravating song conjuring images of scrubbing housewives with one detergent Youhei was never going to buy in his life if he could help it...

Wholly unconscious of the effect he was having around him, Sakuragi Hanamichi sang at the top of his voice as he rummaged in his schoolbag. It was a stupendous morning. He had awoken without Youhei's help, the old back injury had not troubled him despite the cold morning, he had arrived in time for the morning school assembly with minutes to spare, and to top it off, his voice had never been in finer fettle.  In fact, he could feel the reverberations around him as his notes ripped powerfully through the school. Joyfully, he raised his voice just one notch louder, and was flattered to find that the solid-looking, one-litre water-bottle that had been left on the floor near him wobbled shakily in response. Ah, the power of lungs—not just anyone's lungs, mind you, but the _Tensai_'s lungs! 

"Ohayo, Sakuragi-san!" 

For a wonder, the soft words cut right through the loud singing noises he was making, and Sakuragi halted abruptly in his song, looking up. He blinked in astonishment. Two _very _pretty girls were standing right in front of him, smiling widely, twirling their hair, fidgeting with their skirts, blinking admiringly upwards, etc. He immediately blushed almost as red as his hair; he did not know their names, but recognised them as being in the year above him. 

"Ah, AHAHAHAHAHAHA, ah, ohayo!!!" 

They were looking at him with very bright eyes, and one of them even put a hand to her mouth to giggle, not _at_ him, Sakuragi realised, but in a friendly sort of response to his greeting. 

"We just stopped by to congratulate you," said the giggly one between her giggles. "We think it's so sweeeeeeeeet!!!!!"

Sakuragi scratched his head, feeling just a little puzzled. He wasn't quite certain what was going on, but two beautiful girls had just called him sweet and congratulated him! The day was getting better and better! A broad grin swept over his face. "Ah, domo arigatou, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA—"

"It's so romantic!!!" squealed the other girl suddenly, interrupting him excitedly, hands clasped. "You're the _perfect_ pair!!!! Oh, I'm _sooooo_ excited!!! Sakuragi-kun, we support you totally!" she exclaimed, jumping up and down. "Oh, and when you see Rukawa-san, please, give him our congratulations too!" 

"AHAHAHA—_awk_—" Sakuragi choked in mid-laugh. _Wait_—what did the _kitsune_ have to do with—

"_Hanamichi_!"

Sakuragi turned anxiously. He recognised Youhei's voice, and the urgency of the tone in it—his friend was in some sort of trouble! Sure enough, Youhei was waving frantically at him, trapped and cornered by the crowd gathered in front of the notice board at the end of the corridor.  

Sakuragi's eyes flashed. "YOUHEI! NEVER FEAR, THE TENSAI IS ON THE WAY!" he roared, making preparations to head-butt his way through.

Youhei opened his mouth to protest—he was about as much in danger as a scrubbing housewife with that damned detergent—but then gave up as he saw his best friend plough through the hallway mercilessly. He shrugged his shoulders resignedly and limited himself to cringing in sympathy every time his best friend's head made contact somewhere.

Sakuragi panted upon reaching the edge of the crowd. On hindsight, he should have paid a little more attention to what was going on around him, for as soon as he appeared, the buzz in the crowd skyrocketed, as people around him giggled, nudged and whispered to each other while stealing glances at him.

Trapped somewhere within the confines of the crowd, Youhei perspired feverishly. He had to get to his friend before anyone else did. "Eh, Hanamichi—" he called out nervously, and was upset to find that his voice was pitched at a high, tetchy squeak. Horrified, he cleared his throat and tried again. "Eh—"

"_Sakuragi-san!_"

This time, the female voices were not soft, pretty and encouraging, but shrill with anger. Three girls stood in Sakuragi's path, arms folded and lips pursed. One stepped forward.

"How _could_ you!" she shrieked, stabbing one shining, perfectly polished nail at him.

A second girl put her hands to her face and a slow tear trickled down one cheek. "He's _Rukawa_ _Kaede_!!! You—you _bitch_!" She began wailing at the top of her voice.

Sakuragi Hanamichi's eyes nearly fell out of his head. Were they addressing—_him_? He didn't even _know_ who these crazy women were!

"You—you _stole_ him! What was rightfully _ours!_" screamed the third girl, arms flailing about wildly. She hissed furiously at the redheaded boy, who took a step backwards, growing more bewildered by the second.

There was a loud wail from the second girl, followed by sobs. "You corrupted him, you—you—_freak_!" 

Sakuragi gaped soundlessly, blinking. _What _was going _on?!_ Slowly he began to increase his acceleration...backwards, away from the three crazy girls. 

"Hn." 

The sound was a familiar one, a snort that managed to convey derision and hauteur all in one, and there was only one person in the school who could possibly express human emotions in the language of snorts and single-syllable, one-word mumbles.  

For the third time that morning, Sakuragi Hanamichi found himself swivelling in yet another direction, but this time, to face someone he knew only too well. His hackles rose as he automatically fell into the Dial-An-Insult mode. "_Kitsune_—" he began in heated tones, lips falling open in the time-honoured insult—but Rukawa Kaede wasn't actually looking at him. In fact, Rukawa was staring at the three girls...and now Sakuragi realised they were the noisy members of his fan club...and the three girls were backing away very slowly.  

Sakuragi tensed, but the tall, dark-haired boy did not say a word. Instead, Rukawa turned, and his eyes met Sakuragi's for a split second, and then inexplicably, he turned his head very slowly to stare pointedly in another direction.   

Hanamichi never knew why he did what he did next, but instead of swearing loudly at the kitsune again, his gaze followed Rukawa...and stopped at the notice-board. And for the rest of his life, he would never forget what he saw.

There was a picture on the board. It was a huge picture, every detail strikingly life-like, and at first glance, it looked terribly like a photograph, except for the fact that the colours, upon close-up, were evidently a matter of paints. It was a picture of Sakuragi Hanamichi with Rukawa Kaede...in an astonishing pose. 

Hanamichi was lying on his back, slightly turned towards one side, naked to somewhere below his waist, wearing nothing but a pair of extremely tight, low-slung jeans riding somewhere around his hips, with the top button undone. His bare torso was hairless, rippled with muscles, and his flat stomach had the beginnings of a six-pack washboard to it. His hair, a vivid, lustrous shade of red, fell messily, attractively into his eyes...which had a certain sultry, come-hither bedroom gleam in them that was accentuated by the tip of the tongue that poked from between his half-parted lips. And his head was resting comfortably in Rukawa's lap.

The Rukawa in the picture was similarly attired, in mouth-watering skin-tight, hip-hugging jeans, and like Hanamichi, he was muscular—every curve of his biceps could be seen, and the way the corded muscles strained in his lean neck, and the flat, hard stomach. One of his hands was running through the hair of the redhead; the other was draped casually over Hanamichi's body so that the fingers were splayed over Hanamichi's lower abdomen, entwined with one of Hanamichi's hands...and about as close to the unbuttoned top part of the redhead's jeans as one could get. And Rukawa-in-the-picture's gaze was a hot, _hot_ blue.

They made a beautiful couple, the one so vibrant, with red hair and golden-tanned skin, and sultry brown eyes, and the other, white skin next to the golden-brown one, dark hair falling into blue eyes whose gaze was heated instead of the familiar ice, and bespoke passions untold. 

It was an unsurpassable piece of work. The brilliance of the artist's handiwork was beyond doubt. It was beyond lifelike. And the crowning touch that made it so clear why the drawing was up there—just above the drawing, neatly tacked to the notice-board, was a teeny little banner of red cloth, with words in glittering, multicoloured sequins on it: "VOTE RUHANA AS YOUR MOST LIKELY TANABATA COUPLE! RUHANA 4EVA!"

The real, living Sakuragi Hanamichi's eyes bugged out. His jaw dropped, mouth falling open in every expression of shock, horror, and general similarity to prudish Victorian ladies. Several times he tried to speak, but failed, for no words could describe the feelings crashing over him at that moment, or the deep, bright hue of the blush that was rapidly advancing from his face to the rest of his body. Nobody could have mistaken the _intent_ of the picture.

"Hn."

For the first time in his life, Sakuragi had nothing to say—indeed, no voice to give vent to it either—as his blue-eyed, black-haired team-mate moved past him coolly. And as Rukawa's arm brushed his in passing, Sakuragi stumbled back sharply as if he had been electrocuted, nearly tripping over his own two feet as he did so. But not once did he dare to look at the dark-haired boy.  

It was Youhei who came to his rescue at last, and who gently took the arm of the stricken redhead, propelling him away from the notice-board. But even Youhei had to turn for one last look at the picture.

Those jeans were _very _tight.


	3. Part 2: Of Routine, a Redheaded Do’aho, ...

© March 2004 Copyright Himitsu Star, Original Plotline Himitsu Star 

Disclaimer: _Fan_fic. By a fan. For fans. Slam Dunk created by great mangaka Takehiko Inoue. This work not at all associated with Takehiko-sama. This work not associated with anime version of Slam Dunk. This piece of fanfiction work belongs solely to Himitsu Star (see Berne Convention and other copyright laws and international treaties).

**Warning: This is a yaoi fanfic, which depicts romance and love between males.******

Himitsu_Star's Notes: Hi...finally part 2 is out. In midst of writing part 3 now... I'm very, very grateful for the reviews and the encouragement, and the little kicks in the butt I've been getting from people who want to read the next part. ^^;; Although again I have no time to thank everyone by name, believe me that I am extremely indebted to all for the attention given. 

There are a number of references in this chapter that are related to the manga. I've also put in a little fictional bit about Rukawa's father. If you guys have watched Cardcaptor Sakura, you'll notice that Kinomoto Touya is really quite like Rukawa Kaede, the silent, super-athlete type, though Touya does show more emotion towards those people he cares for. Anyway, I just decided to borrow one of Touya's father's characteristics for this fic. Maybe I'll get the chance to develop Rukawa senior a little later on. 

Also I have borrowed Cardcaptor Sakura's trademarked HANYAAAN. ^_~

P.S. =) Actually I do know Sakuragi sings it as "Ore wa Tensai" but I just wanted to draw it out a little longer and more exaggerated, hence in the previous chapter it came out as "OHHHHH-RAAAAAAAAY...WAAAAAAAAHHH...TEEEEEEE-NNN—SAAAAAAAYEEEE..."   

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_Title: Most Likely Couple _

_Rating: PG-13_

_Part 2: Of Routine, a Redheaded Do'aho, Fate and Fact_

Rukawa Kaede had always been a Man of Routine. 

Every morning, he woke up at precisely 06:48:03, on the last note of the third "toot-toot-toot-TOOT" of his alarm clock (which was set to go off at exactly 06:48:00).  

He would then slam down the "off" button, roll over in bed, go back to sleep for another half an hour, and wake up two minutes before the first bell for assembly rang at his school. The second bell for assembly, the late bell, wouldn't ring for another seven minutes, and that gave Rukawa enough time to gargle his mouth, grab a bite, throw on his uniform, and visit the loo. 

Around the time the late bell rang, Rukawa would be on his bike, pedalling at a swift, steady speed down the streets of Shohoku, heading for the high school. He knew the route well enough to be able to catch a few winks on his bike as he cycled along, his favourite music playing in his ears. After all, nothing ever changed on the road he always took; it wasn't as if there was going to be a sudden manhole where there hadn't been one the day before! (_Unless Sakuragi Hanamichi had put it there, and Rukawa really wouldn't put it past the red-headed do'aho to do something like that, because things like that _always_ happened when Sakuragi was around, but that was another story..._) And Kami-sama watched over him; every car, van and lamp-post that got in his way suffered severe dents, but Rukawa Kaede, his MIDI player and his faithful bicycle rode on, serene, invulnerable and unbeatable.

Rukawa always arrived in time for the first period. His programme called for him to pay some semblance of attention for the first five seconds, and then to sleep through the period, as well as the next three periods, until the bell for break rang.  

Break time meant another quick meal in as secluded an area as he could find, and then another nap. He hated crowds, and although he would have liked to make full use of the forty-minute break to practise basketball either in the gym or on the courts outdoors, the net result was he wasn't about to give a one-man public exhibition (_especially where the redheaded do'aho would interrupt him and challenge him, and try to snatch the ball, and announce his Tensai-ness to all and sundry, and generally waste Rukawa's precious time_). Besides, he needed to avoid the long lines of girls that all seemed equally determined to fight for the chance to present him with a _bento_ of their own making. He was perfectly satisfied with the ones his father always made for him. After break, he did the usual—sleep through the rest of the day until the bell for the end of the last period rang.  

Rukawa Kaede's routine _after_ school was just as simple. He played basketball, and he was there to play basketball the best that he could, which is very different from being the best basketball player, and play it he would—and that redheaded do'aho could jolly well dunk himself into the basket if he disagreed. And at night, after the others had left, Rukawa stayed on to play ball in the gym. And he'd practise on, night after night, alone in the school gym, until he was too tired to carry on. But he wasn't playing to be the best basketball player ever. 

People always misjudged Rukawa Kaede. Aida Yayoi, the sports journalist who covered Kanagata prefecture for a famous basketball magazine, had once made the error of assuming that Rukawa played for himself. She had never been more wrong. Unlike Kiyota Nobunaga of Kainan Affiliated, Rukawa Kaede was practising to play the best basketball he could, which is a very different thing from being the best basketball player in the world. Neither purpose is antithetical to the idea of being a team player, but nor should the idea of being a team player be allowed to stifle an individual's ability to play his best. Rukawa Kaede had genius, and a dream, and no limit in sight.  He worked for that dream and his entire life revolved around it.  There was no space for interruptions or things which could cramp his style, e.g. girls... but there was this itsy-bitsy thing called Murphy's Law, and it popped up in the unexpected shape of a red-headed do'aho with a temper as quick and fierce as the chilli-red hue of his hair. 

Going by the normal flow of things, Murphy's Law generally started operating around the time the after-school basketball practices began. This one little factor was something Rukawa had dismissively discounted for a little while, like everyone else, but the mosquito was red-headed and loud-mouthed and persistent as only a mosquito can be, and – surprisingly enough—had in him possibly as much raw talent as Rukawa Kaede ever possessed at any one time in his life—not, you know, that Rukawa was going to admit it to the do'aho. After all, the mosquito had once slam dunked a basketball through a hoop whilst Akagi Takenori was attached to the said ball! Yes, Sakuragi Hanamichi, Kami-sama's designated redheaded do'aho, was the big kink in Rukawa's Routine (in the nice, non-hentai manner, folks). Rukawa didn't remember having to mop the floor of the gym so many times before, nor had he ever needed bruise balm so much. At junior high, he had known every inch of the court—and not every inch of the _floor_ of the court. As long as Sakuragi Hanamichi was around, though, it seemed Rukawa would get to know the mop and bucket in far more intimate detail than he could ever imagine, and would also be the highly valued customer of the nearby traditional medicine shop (bruise balm, remember?). 

So much for routine, or what was left of it after Sakuragi's chaotic interference. 

But today, it was different. Today, right from the start of the day, way before the after-school practices, and long before the redhead made his customary appearance, Rukawa Kaede was having a Most Unusual Day. It could alternatively be described as extraordinary, bizarre or abnormal, but the fact remained that it would be something like another ten thousand years and several reincarnations before he would see the like of it again. 

Unusual Fact #1: He woke up early and _couldn't_ go back to sleep. 

It was preposterous. It was a travesty. –Actually, it was a sign from the gods that this was going to be the craziest day of his life, but what did Rukawa, mere mortal (except on the basketball court), know about it? To get back to the point, Rukawa started counting bouncing basketballs, but it didn't work, especially when basketballs meant playing basketball, and playing basketball meant red hair, and he could hear the loud voice in his head: "YAHARHARHARHAR!!!! OOOOOOO-REEEEEEEE WA TEEEEEEEEEEEN-SAAAAAAA-IIIIIIII!" 

Bouncing basketballs was a bad idea. But he was damned if he was going to count sheep. White frilly animals that went "maaa" did nothing for him. (Neither did redheaded, loud-mouthed do'ahos). But he really couldn't think of anything else...except possibly bouncing do'ahos, and how would that help him sleep, thankyouverymuch...

So he went to school instead. Bright and early. And let's not forget, wide awake. ß-- Abnormal Fact #2.  

He did plan to try to catch a nap in the place where he usually slept the most—his desk. But his plans were scuttled as soon as he walked into the hallowed hallways of Shohoku High. There the usual giggles and whispers and nudges and swoons as he walked past, and he ignored them. Or at least, he ignored them until— 

"Omigod, Sakuragi is so _hot!!!_"

"Sugoiiiiii.....*hearts*... Sakuragi-kun..."

"~~HANYAAAN~~SAKURAGI~~HANYAAN~~" ß- Weird Facts #3

Rukawa blinked. Okay, that was weird. There was this stream of little pink hearts which kept drifting in front of him, and then bouncing off his nose with little "piku-piku" sounds, and what was all that Sakuragi this, Sakuragi that? (Peculiar Fact #4)

"_Rukawa-san..._"

He had never heard his name uttered in such – such reverent tones before. Kinda like those used by priests – or cultists. He blinked many times more. Something like a bunch of females, three wide and four deep (3x4 = twelve of them) – and they were bowing before him like worshippers before some holy idol, complete with outstretched palms and greater-than-ninety-degree bows of supplication. (Oddball Fact #5) 

The one at the head of the bunch, a girl with round glasses, determined chin and long plaits, raised her head, eyes glittering, the expression in them devoted, deferential, and decidedly manic. 

"We are 100% behind you, O Rukawa-san. May you and your redheaded loved one know peace and joy with our blessing and eternal support!" (Freakish Fact #5)

Like a badly-rehearsed high school musical, the rest of the girls suddenly unbent, snapping to attention, and struck their left breasts with clenched fists before pumping said fists into the air: "We Will Support You For Ever!" (At this point, Rukawa almost sighed with relief. At least he was familiar with _this_ part of the encounter so far).

Then, to add to the bewildered Rukawa's further mystification (and conviction that high school girls were a mutant sort of breed completely alien to the rest of mankind), they parted like the Red Sea before him, giving one final, deeply pious bow. 

There was only one reason for all this insanity. Sakuragi Hanamichi. Had to be. No other explanation. After all, Rukawa's Routine got messed up only when Sakuragi was around. All the redheaded do'aho had to do was to sneeze, or even _think_ about kitsunes. Rukawa was quite convinced on that point. The problem was, what was all this about a beloved? A _redheaded loved one_?! 

He had just about made up his mind that the redhead was _somehow_ behind this, either through voodoo or some other equally diabolical means, when he saw IT. (Aberrant Fact #6)

The huge, in-your-eye, how-could-you-miss-it IT.  

The IT he couldn't stop himself from staring at. 

Long, strongly muscled, golden-tanned limbs sprawled before him in near-naked abandon. Jeans so skin-tight they had to have been _poured_ on to those long, long legs. Jeans cut so low and unbuttoned so that they revealed the breathtaking beginnings of defined hip muscles that trailed teasingly downwards. The powerful, flawlessly tanned torso, with those amazingly broad shoulders, well-developed muscular frame and beautifully sculpted abs. The pale fingers that were tantalisingly entwined with capable, tanned ones, resting casually on the flat, hard stomach, fingers reaching into the unbuttoned jeans...and sultry, passion-filled brown eyes that gleamed with a soft fire that sang of many tempting, sensual promises...  (Deviant Fact #7)

"..._eeeee!_ Sakuragi Hanamichi is _so_ sexy!!! *pant* Rukawa Kaede is so _sexy! _*pant*_ Eeeeee!_ I've died and gone to heaven!..."

"*swoon*...Do you _really_ think that he and Rukawa...*giggle*"

Rukawa's right eye twitched just the slightest bit.  (Nutty Fact #8)

"...oh, but why not? We always thought they hated each other but all the time they truly, madly, deeply _loved_ each other!!! *giggle*"

Rukawa's left eye began twitching as well. (Unnatural Fact #9)

"*squeal* _How _romantic! *giggle* They must've been in love for _sooooooo_ long!"

"We disagree! Sakuragi Hanamichi is _nowhere_ near worthy of Rukawa-sama!"

"He is too! He is so _sexy!_"

"Look at those muscles! I would love to be held in those strong, muscular arms! They're just as strong and sexy and wonderful as Rukawa-san's! _Eeee!_"

"How dare you insult Rukawa-sama by comparing him to that good-for-nothing red-haired monkey—"

"What, you have no eyes? Sakuragi-san is _soooooooooo_ cool!!! You know _nothing_!"

Fists flew, hair got pulled and the screams intensified as the squabble became physical. Meanwhile, the crowd in front of the noticeboard started snowballing as more students arrived and came running to gape at the new décor the noticeboard had taken on.

Rukawa Kaede turned away. Whoever had done the picture had given the redheaded do'aho a new hairstyle, one with more hair, but less bouffant hairdo he had sported at the beginning. Sakuragi looked good in this picture, really good, and no doubt that was in part thanks to the hairstyle in the portrait, but— Rukawa quite liked his buzz cut. It was easier to hit the do'aho that way. – Well, he had to be off. He needed to find that classroom and catch a nap—

"OOOOO-HHHHHH-REEEEEEEEEEE WAAAAAAAA—"

Halfway to the classrooms, Rukawa halted. That...hollering. He shot a quick glance in the direction of the frightfully off-tune bellowing. In the distance, he saw the flaming red-topped, muscular pillar of an unmistakeable somebody. Sakuragi Hanamichi, red-haired do'aho, self-aggrandizing, chest-thumping tensai, wannabe rival of Rukawa Kaede (and many, many others), had finally arrived on the scene. And as was usual with Sakuragi's interference, Rukawa's Routine came to a screeching standstill.

Almost automatically, the dark-haired boy changed direction, retracing his steps. He was going to have to hang around the noticeboard a little while longer...    


	4. Part 3: Up On the Roof

© March 2004 Himitsu Star

Disclaimer: _Fan_fic. By a fan. For fans. Slam Dunk created by great mangaka Takehiko Inoue. This work not at all associated with Takehiko-sama. This work not associated with anime version of Slam Dunk. This piece of fanfiction work belongs solely to Himitsu Star (see Berne Convention and other copyright laws and international treaties).

Warning: Depicts romance and love between males. Bit rough at the edges and in patches.

Vocab and expressions: très– French for "very"; Pavlov reaction: in summary, Pavlov was the famous scientist who carried out studies where he conditioned dogs to associate the sound of a bell ringing with food. So every time the bell rang, the dogs would start to salivate. I'm not sure of the precise term, but I think calling it the Pavlov reaction may not be far wrong. In any case, I stand corrected should it be shown that there's an accurate term for it that I've somehow missed out. Last-- "White Lighter", term for some sort of angel being from the TV series Charmed, who has healing powers. I watch Charmed sporadically...

* * *

_Title: Most Likely Couple _

_Rating: PG-13_

_Part 3: Up On The Roof _

Youhei had once called them the Three Stooges of Wako Junior High... and later Shohoku High School. But they weren't merely the Three Stooges; together with Sakuragi Hanamichi and Mito Youhei, they had formed one of the best groups of fighters in a junior high school that was scientific proof of the survival of the (fighting) fittest principle. They were a group très formidable, and where most of them lacked in height in comparison to the redheaded centre of their little bunch, they at least made up for it in skill, strength and spirit. They were indefatigable and no crisis ever stumped them so long as they could use their fists and get in a good kick or two.

As long as they could use their fists...

Up on the rooftop of Shohoku High, the Three Stooges gathered for an Extraordinary General Meeting.

The silence was profound.

There was a shuffling of feet.

A scratching of heads.

A shrugging of shoulders.

A flooding of sweat.

"Psst... so... did you hear?"

"Hmnabmgn..."

"Huh?"

"... do you think... you know... Hanamichi's really... you know..."

The silence stretched even more deeply, seeping into the cracked tiles and aged concrete of the rooftop flooring, wrapping itself around the lugubrious water tanks and occasional dustbin, and generally blanketing the area with a sort of uncertain gloom.

"Well..."

"NAH." Three heads shook wildly from side to side.

"Not possible."

"Can't be."

"He can't stand the sight of Rukawa."

"He _hates_ Rukawa."

"He'd rather kiss Gorilla than Rukawa."

Pause. Green faces all round.

"Ewww..."

"That's _disgusting_..."

Pause. Light bulb above somebody's head.

"And he likes Haruko-san!"

"Hey...you're right!"

"Yah, Hanamichi can't like Rukawa that way!"

"Yah, he's jealous of Rukawa 'cause Haruko likes him!"

"Yah, he can't be gay!"

A jaw-dropping silence.

"_Gay_...?"

"...gay..."

"...squeak..._g-g_ay?"

Pause.

Beat.

"...you know, he _does_ pay a lot of attention to Rukawa..."

"...and not only on the court..."

"...he can't stop talking about Rukawa too..."

"And did you notice that Rukawa always talks _a lot_ to him...?"

"... if you can call that _talk_..."

"For Rukawa, that's carrying on a conversation, man..."

"Yah... Rukawa mostly doesn't talk to anyone...but Hanamichi..."

"Whaddya mean doesn't talk to anyone _but_ Hanamichi..."

"Maybe Rukawa's the one who's gay!"

"And he's going to seduce Hanamichi!"

"We must protect Hanamichi's virtue!"

"... but maybe he doesn't want his virtue to be protected?"

Pause.

Gulp.

Beat.

"... suppose Hanamichi is after Rukawa's virtue?"

Splutters and puking sounds.

"M-maybe it's a sort of revenge? Maybe Hanamichi just wants to make sure Rukawa falls in love with him, so that...uh... so that... um..."

Inspiration from dinner-time soaps: "... so he can have Haruko all to himself!"

"Y-yeah!"

"That's it!"

"Must be!"

They looked at each other nervously, wringing their hands. This was a major problem. They needed more than three brains. They couldn't turn to Sakuragi, of course, but there was still one member of their little group—

"_Oi_ OI!" Mito Youhei was half-crouched at the door which led to the rooftop of the school, with a blank-looking Sakuragi Hanamichi draped all over him. Or, to be more precise, with a blank-looking Sakuragi Hanamichi like an overgrown water buffalo lagging dazedly behind him. Youhei had heroically pushed, shoved, dragged and somehow hustled his taller, bigger best friend up several flights of stairs to get to the one haven where he could be sure that the remnants of Hanamichi's sure and certain future explosion could be effectively contained. Sometimes, being Hanamichi's best friend was a bit like being a scientist in charge of watching a very active volcano that threatened eruptions at irregular intervals.

"Youhei!"

"_Youhei_!"

"YOUHEI!"

They had never been so pleased to see him before, their saviour, their White Knight/ White Lighter, their Aragorn, etc.

Youhei, on the other hand, grunted in displeasure. He didn't need a warm welcoming chorus, he needed _muscles_. He raised his voice irritably. "A little _help_ here is all I'm _asking_..."

"Right, right..."

Pause.

"huff"

"pant"

"Man, he's put on weight again..."

They carefully propped him, doll-like and unresponsive, against one of the large water tanks on the rooftop.

"So, like, Youhei, is it true?"

"What?" asked Youhei absently, as he busily propped open Sakuragi's eyelids one by one, and shone a small pen-sized flashlight into each eye. "Right, keep him like that, thanks. – Hmm. Pupils not responding. Must still be in shock."

Shuffle.

"Well, ya know, Y'hei.... him and... you know..."

"..._Rukawa_..."

"SHHHHHHH!" hissed Youhei, jerking up his head in fright, but the damage was already done.

"URRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH! WHERE! WHERE! WHERE IS HE!!! WHERE IS THAT KITSUNE!!"

Sakuragi Hanamichi was on his feet, living inferno incarnate, eyes ablaze, body hunched slightly in preparation for full-scale war, fists clenched and feet planted wide apart.

Youhei and the gang immediately waved their arms in alarm, dancing around their redheaded friend in a comical quartet, each trying to get his attention.

"Hanamichi, calm down! Calm down! He isn't here—" taking a quick look around—"it was just Nozomi being silly again!"

"Yes, yes, I was being silly!"

"Yes, yes, he was being silly!"

"Yeah, if you need to find your lover, we'll help you, no problem, just calm down!"

"_WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? HUNH?! HUNH?!"_ It was impossible to imagine anything redder than Sakuragi's hair, but in this case, Sakuragi's face just about managed to achieve it, turning a brilliant shade of vermilion that rivalled the biggest, shiniest rubies in the world. Sakuragi, who was almost suffocated with fury, grabbed the unfortunate speaker by the collar. "_SAY THAT AGAIN!!_"

This time, it was Ookusu Yuji who had committed the unthinkable, and he was now busy choking at the grip round his neck as he flapped his arms wildly, his brain on vacation. All he could remember was Hanamichi's last command, and he frantically tried to obey it. "Urk—urk—say—it—again—urk—urk—Rukawa—your—love-_urk_—"

Sakuragi more or less proceeded to throttle Yuji, who flopped like a dying fish in the red-haired boy's grip, and tried to call out to his friends for help. But Noma Chuichiro, Mito Youhei and Nozomi Takamiya were sensibly keeping a safe distance between Hanamichi and themselves.

"_SAY THAT AGAIN!_"

"—I-I-I-I-I d-d-d-d-d-i-i-i-d-d-d—" quavered Yuji, teeth rattling in his head.

"L-lover?"

Youhei gave a soft groan. More trouble had just reared its ugly head. _Damn, damn, damn!_

The new voice was soft and girlish, and it trembled. It belonged to the newcomer, a very pretty girl with a sweet face and wide, guileless eyes. This was Akagi Haruko, younger sister of the basketball captain Akagi Takenori, and Sakuragi's 51st crush.

"H-haruko!" Sakuragi Hanamichi all but fell over, eyes wide and shocked— but he kept his tight grip on Yuji. "I-I can explain... it's not what you think—"

A small, round, dark shadow fell between them and grew longer and thinner, eventually forming the shape of a person, and a cold voice cut into the conversation, uttering a single, familiar word.

"Do'aho."

Sakuragi Hanamichi's eyes immediately flew to the owner of the voice.

The hush that fell over the little group congregated on the rooftop was like the calm on the night before an early morning storm, like that moment of brief, tense silence that fell before a shootout at the O.K. Corral, like that frightening minute just before you got your exam results, like that—

Haruko, who had been too busy rivalling Hanamichi for blushes, finally recovered sufficiently to breathlessly stammer out a word or two. "Ru—rukawa..."

Youhei noted that Rukawa Kaede, true to form, didn't deign to spare Akagi Haruko a glance. Instead, the dark-haired basketballer seemed intent on keeping his gaze on Hanamichi, holding the red-headed boy's furious gaze.

Hanamichi, on the other hand, basically appeared to be trying to barbeque Rukawa to a crisp with his eyes.

Chuu and Nozomi looked at Youhei for instructions, but Youhei remained still. He was far more interested in seeing how it was going to play out than in salvaging the situation... which in any case hadn't quite reached disastrous levels yet.

_Yet_.

Haruko looked from one boy to the other. Whether it was through a flash of woman's intuition or some lucky guess, she somehow picked the right boy. "Sakuragi...?" she murmured nervously.

It was, Youhei observed, a sort of Pavlov reaction, as Sakuragi promptly lost interest in Rukawa and switched his attention to Haruko.

"Um... just now... someone was saying..." Haruko swallowed hard, fidgeting and chewing on her lower lip. "Uh, never mind..." It was, after all, a bit difficult to say what she wanted to ask, especially in front of Rukawa. _Did you say something... about Rukawa... being... your...? That picture... I saw... it looked so real. Is it... really..._

"Haruko, I—I like you! I—I _really_ like you! I—"

Youhei winced. The situation had just reached the disastrous levels he had been looking for earlier...

* * *

End notes: uh, don't go looking for a confrontation on the rooftop. I'm not writing it out for the next chapter. Next chapter is... well, can't give it away.


End file.
